I'm 2 years in with my Buddhist Practice and I have hit a very hard invisible wall. This "wall" is what is known in Buddhism as an obstacle which equates to negative states of mind. Yep I'm a Buddhist struggling with a negative mind!
These minds can scatter in many different directions and have many aspects. From my own side I know that they will pass. I don't wallow in them or feel the need to react. In my meditation this morning I simply sat with the mantra mounted on the breath and gave myself the space to just let things settle. Sometimes I see my mind going into "fix it" mode. It feels the need to react as if there is something to react to.
I have been struggling with feeling of being spirituality empty. Buddhist teachings tell me to rely on the 3 jewels. I have found that the truth is I need to rely on is mySelf. This simple realization reminds me of a beautiful Vedanta teaching that I learn the other evening...."Dependence on God is dependence on mySelf. God is not outside, the lord is not away from myself. God dependence is Self dependence. Self dependence is independence. Independence is MOKHA"- liberation. I see this very clearly and powerfully that it is shifting my awareness back to Vedanta.
I have gone full circle and there she was. And she was.