Were is the Love?

What is love? That was one of many questions last night in our Yoga Sutras Class. How does one define love? For me it is the relationship that I have with my son. I have learned through my experience's of raising him these past 16 years that I am not attached to the out come or the idea of my son... I don't have great plans or schemes for him. No. I have always felt that I have been a steward to this lovely tender life and it was more my job to make sure that he blossoms to be the man that he should be not what I think him to be. As a result he is a very confident young man with a healthy interest in all things boy!

This love that I feel for my son is easy and uncomplicated, unspoken, a bond... A true experience of non-duality! There is no "i-ness" in motherhood. It is the ultimate surrender of ones ego. It is eternal selfless service. I will forever be his mother for the remainder of my time on this plane. I am forever grateful for the universe providing me this experience because it allows me to grow.

I have to ask myself one question.... Why don't I feel the same love that I have for my son for the rest of the universe? That's a really hard question that I don't have an easy answer too. I will say this, love is so conditioned in western society we color it with many brushes. Valentines Day is a great example of this. Love is boiled down to dollars and time spent on creating and event out of ones love for another. I find this gross on so many levels. My poor husband was under strict instructions to not do anything different on this day than he would any other day of the week. He weakened and bought flowers... He assured me that they were not expensive. Then I purchased a lovely little Buddha painting from Zen Dot Studio as a Valentines gift for myself! Haha! Were has my conviction gone? I love the painting but for some reason felt I needed a guise to make the purchase. Maybe we should just change Valentines Day to a day of loving ourselves? That way no one gets left out and its unconditional! It kinda meets all the criteria.

(The photo is taken with my handy cell phone in Griffith Park! Its the continuation my tree obsession and you get to live it with me. I suppose I will have to blog it out later. What can I say? I love trees...without trees... Well there would be no air!)

3 comments:

  • ZenDotStudio | February 22, 2009 at 10:34 AM

    Great post about love. Yes that love for our children, the ones we would throw ourselves in front of a bus for without a second thought! It really is the essence of uncomplicated love. I have learned so much from my daughter about this. While I have always loved her fiercely I confess to sometimes wanting things to be a certain way. She showed me when she was little that it was her life and she chose to wear a baseball hat rather than the little dress I had imagined for her. It has been such an education.

    Here is a wonderful poem from Kahlil Ghibran (sp?) about children that my Zen teacher sent me once. hope it's not too big to post here.


    And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
    Speak to us of Children.
    And he said:
    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself,
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you
    cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them
    like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
    You are the bows from which your children as living arrows
    are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and
    He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and
    far.
    Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also
    the bow that is stable.

  • shinyyoga | February 22, 2009 at 3:08 PM

    I love yr idea of changing valentines day to a day of loving ourselves - that was exactly the theme of my "love day" yoga workshop recently!

    True unconditional self love is so precious, yet quite rare.

    Lovely post x

  • Janaki | February 22, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    Om ZDS! I so agree our childern are our education.. Wow the poem brings tears of joy. Simply beautiful and appropriate.

    Om ShinyYoga! loving your profile pic What a great work shop! So Yes! let's re-invent Valentines Day to celebrate the love for ourselves!

    Om Om!